Transcripts and Press
Bush/Zombie Reagan 2004 Announcement
[Transcript of press conference in the Rose Garden on June 7th, 2004.]
BUSH: Hello. Thank you all for coming. I know you’re not here to listen to me talk, so I’ll make this brief. America has always needed strong leaders, and as you know, we are lucky enough today to have one of the strongest back with us. Now more than ever, our country needs the wisdom, courage and pride that defined the presidency of the man I am about to introduce to you. And, so, ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present my new nominee for the Vice Presidency of the United States: Zombie Reagan!
ZOMBIE REAGAN: BRAAAAAINS! BRAAAAINS!
BUSH: I’m afraid we’re out of time. Thank you.
Hannity & Colmes
[Transcript courtesy of Fox News.]
HANNITY: And now, a Fox News exclusive: the first post-mortem interview with George W. Bush’s new Vice Presidential nominee and a true American hero, Zombie Reagan. Sir, I just want to tell you what a privilege and honor it is to shake your hand. And— Oh, my God, I’m sorry. Uh. Will that go back on?
COLMES: It came off? Did you pull hard?
HANNITY: No! No! I just shook it a little and it came right off.
COLMES: Don’t give it to me!
HANNITY: Can I get some help here? It just came right off. I just—
ZOMBIE REAGAN: BRAAAAINS! BRAAAAINS!
HANNITY: Oh, sweet Jesus, it’s still moving! It’s still—
Larry King Live
[Transcript courtesy CNN.]
KING: BRAAAAINS! BRAAAAINS!
ZOMBIE REAGAN: BRAAAINS! BRAAAAINS!
KING: BRAAAAINS! BRAAAAAINS!
ZOMBIE REAGAN: BRAAAINS!
Thanks to the anonymous evil genius who suggested this idea. Between June 9th and 22nd, 2004, Bush-ZombieReagan.com raised over $300 for Alzheimer’s research. Thanks to everybody who helped! FP